Belly of the Beast
by WriterRose
Summary: One shot. Female Shepard. As the suicide mission commences, it doesn't take long for emotions to run beyond just the matter at hand. *ME2 Spoilers*


**Author's Note: **Some of this works from the script of the game, but this is with creative licensing of course, as well as a bit of an experiment with a female Shepard character. ^_^ This is my attempt to get back into writing by starting off with one shots. Hope you like it!

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The mission had been trying - more so than any of us expected. But what were we to expect? This had been labeled as the suicide mission: venturing into the belly of the beast; a mission we should not expect to return from. I had at least held hope that we would be able to deal with the situation as a unit, and already I had been forced to separate from him.

I had been foolish enough to think that it would be easier that way - that we would not become distracted or preoccupied with our feelings for one another during battle. Instead, it was so much worse. The gravity of the mission left me in a state of constant panic. I couldn't see or hear him, and so could only think the worst. My mind wandered, unwilling to cooperate as we became swarmed by Collectors. Unable to focus my aim, I found my thoughts questioning if they were meeting the same greeting crowd. As if I became momentarily blinded, a husk appeared before me, launching its twitching hands towards my face and neck. Before I could even position my assault rifle, its head unexpectedly exploded.

"Get in the game, Shepard!" Jacob yelled at me, his voice still retaining the bitter edge of rejection.

I cursed myself, biting my lower lip as I silently vowed that when we were next able to regroup, I would make a point of keeping Thane by my side if the teams had to separate again. It could be the only way to make it through this.

Pushing forward, we slowly worked our way through the mass of husks, abominations, and the inevitable Collectors. The idea that they were all once Prothean's hit us to the core of just how important this mission had become. Not only were we fighting for our survival, we were fighting for our freedom. The latter could mean a fate worse than death. In our progress, taking the occasional hit from enemy fire should be no surprise. However, this did nothing to help pain of the shots penetrating the skin. Our shields were reinforced, but this still did little against the barrage of fire and mauling by the constant waves of enemies. We quickly made a strong ally of our medi-gel facilities, its anesthetic effect helping to soothe and ease the movement of limping limbs.

Legion steadily progressed through the pipe-shaped passage way. Eventually we joined with him and the other unit in a central chamber. The large metal doors we had briefly struggled to open were now becoming even more difficult to close. With Legion at one side and the rest of the unit sniping off the fast approaching Collector swarm, we forced the doors ever-nearer to closing. In the last second, one lucky shot fired directly into Legion's visual control centre.

"Legion!" I cried out, turning quickly. It was too late. His slim metallic form lay motionless on the ground. My teeth gritted subconsciously as we looked upon him.

"Shepard, look out!" Garrus called. Without thinking, I grabbed the doors and yelled out with all my might. It slammed closed, a head of an abomination getting caught in the gap and exploding into a bloody mess, pushing me backwards. I sat on the floor, still momentarily, Legion to my side just as he had been a moment before. It was then that I heard a gruff but familiar voice whispering a prayer and a warm, green hand rest on my shoulder. A wave of peace washed over me as I felt his presence. My hand covered his, as I closed my eyes to join his prayer for our fallen comrade. Heads bowed around us, willingly or not. We would have to press on, but a moment could be spared to honor the dead.

"We all knew the risks when we signed up for this," I announced, rising to my feet. The statement was probably more for myself than the crew. Still, it was hard on everyone: seeing the first death. True, Legion had been with us the shortest amount of time. But he was a member of the team all the same. We were sorry to lose him.

It was then that we turned around, surveying our surroundings. Pipes ran everywhere around the central chamber, and we shuddered to think what the hundreds of them were for. The grand sight left us unaware momentarily, but those who had already taken in the expanse made a much more serious observation.

Miranda somberly caught my attention, "Shepard… you need to see this."

I looked over to her. She stood before something, tall and yellow. They were tanks of some sort. Pods. Whatever you wanted to call them – the crew was inside them: The Cerberus officers; Dr. Chakwas; Yeoman Chambers.

"This looks like one of the missing colonists." Miranda commented, approaching another suspended form inside one of the tanks. Suddenly the colonist moved. Her eyes flickered open, and the look of panic washed over her face. Her form shifted downwards.

"Oh God…" I murmured, "She's still alive."

She screamed out, banging her hands on the glass. I stared at her, wide eyed. My fist hit the front of the pod, pressing my hands against the glass in a feeble attempt to free her.

"Get them out, quickly!" Her screams faded away, blood flushing against the front of the tank as she sank away into disappearance.

We pounded against the glass for a moment longer to no avail. Tali surveyed the units quickly, her technical ability providing quick access to the ejection operation. Without a second to lose, we freed each member of the crew in turn.

"Dr. Chakwas, are you ok?" I took her limp body into my arms as she fell from the pod, laying her slowly onto the ground. She coughed, clearing her throat before inhaling a gasping breath. A smile crept onto my lips, seeing her eyes flicker open.

"Shepard…" she whispered, looking up at me, "You… you came for us." Her eyes met mine.

"No one gets left behind."

Slowly, we helped them each to their feet. All of the crew members were alive, but still weak and weary from the ordeal. Chakwas filled us in one what befell most of the colonists. It was too sinister to imagine. We were just lucky we made it in time to save those that we did.

After a quick brief, the plan was set. Miranda would hold a biotic field to escort Thane, Jack and I through the seeker swarms. Meanwhile, Grunt would escort the remaining crew and colonists back to the Normandy. I didn't like to put Jack and Miranda too close, but after the argument that had passed between the three of us previously, and after I had clearly sided with Jack, Miranda had taken it pretty hard.

_I need to show her that I trust her_. I thought, hoping to bridge the gap that had been forced between our once close friendship. Perhaps she would also see that trust was not misplaced in Jack and her biotic talents.

My eyes surveyed the three of us, and as they fell upon Thane, I felt a hesitation. To know that he would be by my side through this was an obvious relief, but so much had passed already. We had lost Legion, and almost lost the crew. His black eyes pierced into me, pulling all wavering thoughts and fears to the surface. I just wanted to fall into his arms… but that was not an option. We had enjoyed a moment lost in passion, and had already let enough pass between us in front of the rest of the team at the last regroup. Now was not the time. And so we pressed on.

Miranda's biotic barrier was a force to be reckoned with against the swarm, and Thane's sharp shooting was unmatched. Biotic shockwaves by the hands of Jack propelled through floods of enemies, knocking them aside with ease. It all seemed so easy. Too easy.

Although I had been focused on firing down the waves of abomination, I caught sight of Miranda as we approached the final hill.

"Hurry Shepard," she cried out, her body steadily buckling under the strain.

"Just a little further, Miranda. Hold on!" I called back, urging her forward. Jack led her down the sloping path, rushing towards our exit, while Thane and I held the rear. I caught his eye for a split-second. There was something in there that I couldn't make out.

"I can't–" yelled a sudden voice, and I turned just in time to see Miranda collapse to the ground, mere feet away from the open arch of our escape passage.

"Everyone, fall back!" I yelled out to the team, rushing towards Miranda. The swarms descended upon us in an instant. Jack had already followed orders, firing anything she could from the exit to help as we followed behind her. I grabbed Miranda's body, throwing her into the exit arch as I swatted madly to keep away the swarm seekers. As I turned, I caught Thane's eyes gaze at me desperately, the swarm gathering around him. "Thane!" My scream was so raw it might as well have been riddled with blood.

His arm reached out, his green fingers grasping desperately. As I tried to run towards him, two hands gripped my arm, and yanking me violently into the escape route. "It's too late!"

_Siha…_

There were so many of them around him now that I couldn't even make out an inch of his suit. My vision blurred, tears building in my eyes. What I could still see of his swarm began to rise, carrying him away.

The doors slammed closed in front of me, blocking all view of the path we had just walked. I placed my palm against them, mouth open, eyes wide. My lips shivered, trying to find words as I felt something glide down my cheek.

"Shepard.. I don't know what happened– Why I faltered– I… I'm so sorry."

He had been getting me through this. Getting me through everything. And now… Her words meant nothing to me. From somewhere deep inside me, a great bellow was released, my fist slamming against the metal door with a dull THUD. I could feel Jack wince behind me. She could understand, yet remained silent. One of the only times she did when Miranda was concerned. Probably for the best.

First Kaiden, and now Thane. After all I had given for everyone, for the universe, could they offer me nothing in return? The Council denied every statement I made. Kaiden disregarded me without even letting me explain – and after everything we had been through! And now we could attempt to save the universe from the Collectors, but I had to lose Thane to them anyway: a Drell whose time with me we already knew was limited; a few months… a year? Did I not deserve that much?

Maybe it would be easier this way. He would die with honor fighting for this cause, instead of having to watch him disintegrate in front of my very eyes to an illness I had no ability to fight. At least with the Collector's I would be able to get vengeance…

I wasn't even kidding myself with this bullshit. My fist clenched so tight that it started to fall numb.

_Siha…_

A sickening thought rose from the pit of my stomach. Did I cause this? He came out fine when in the other team. Perhaps he had been able to hold focus better when under Garrus' command. The Taurian had definitely got a certain quality when it came to maneuvering a squad. Perhaps Thane worked better by his side. Maybe it was my fault for not keeping my professionalism together and let my feelings for him jeopardize my judgments on the mission.

"Shepard?"

My teeth clenched hard at her voice, bile twisting in my stomach. Miranda. She had dropped the shield. She was a strong biotic. Had it been on purpose? Had she wanted something to happen to one of us – to Jack? It made sense, she did seem to hate her so intensely. But no, this is Miranda we're talking about: Miranda! She wouldn't do something to jeopardize the mission, would she?

My thoughts had been racing so intensely I hadn't even heard her move. Now she was close behind me. Suddenly, I could feel it.

"Listen, just… don't blame yourself."

Within a split second I had spun around, face to face with Miranda. My eyes were narrowed and flaming. I don't think I had ever seen the "perfect specimen of human femininity" look surprised. Possibly even fearful.

"I don't," The voice was cold. It felt foreign to me. "I blame you."

Silence befell the three of us, my words lingering in the air like a stale smell.

"We should keep moving." Jack finally stated, her voice steady and calm. Someone needed to keep it together.

I forced past Miranda, bumping her shoulder forcefully with mine. The sooner the rest of this mission was all over the better. I couldn't take much more of this.

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**Author's Note: **Please drop me a quick review with what you thought, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


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